The feeling is different now...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I... am kinda down now. I am getting married and in my heart, I am very excited, that's for sure. I have no idea why am I feeling that way but I know, no matter what, I have to keep it to myself.

Today, I went to Cheryl's 1 year old birthday party. Don't really feel like elaborating more as I know, someone is updating or I should say broadcasting to the whole world how it has been.

Many things happened lately, maybe I shouldn't use "ed" as it is still happening. So stressing, and I actually broke down during the mass prayer on last Saturday. How embrassing... I really don't know how to let it out. Due to my last minute schedule changes, I didn't make it to the mass today. Oh god, please forgive me.

Can anyone tell me how to be a good girl, good daughter, good wife and a good furmama for Smoochie and Twistie. I have been spending time cleaning the house and working daily, I didn't really spend time combing my two little babies and I even changed my mind not to celebrate our 4th year anniversary when Ben actually asked me out for a nice dinner, only for the two of us. I must say I am very proud having Ben, he has been with me through all the ups and downs. Ben, I felt so bad for not hugging you much lately but I know, I know you will definitely say," is okay, baby.."

I am very tired, really tired of everything. I want to go back to the ward and visit my ex colleagues, I miss them, I wanna buy them cake, but I really can't afford to as I am very tired and my memory is so bad that I have to remind myself everyday the same old things.

My ROM date is really drawing near and there are still many things to be done, so many appointments to be made. The worst is, I am sick now! I can't even shop for items that needed.

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